I haven't been like myself for the past few days. I'm feeling waves of emotions like i've never felt before and it is neww to me. I smile when deep inside i know that my heart has been clenched and squeezed out of its breath.
somehow i think i'm in denial.
I finished my first Paulo Coelho today and i'll get my second Coelho after CNY. Just after going through my first two short stories in the book, i feel inspired. I have not read anything like this. I couldn't believe my own naked eyes as i read line after line of perfect words strung together into a beautiful poetic sentences. As the sentences merge together to form the paragraphs, the paragraphs form the whole story, it takes my breath away.
It's as if Coelho have captured my heart, my soul and eventually turned them into words.
Something really big happened to me this year. I wouldn't exactly say it's most beautiful thing that happened in my life, but it definitely has given me an impact that is bigger than i've expected it to be. At first i thought i could handle it. I thought i could push through whatever life brought upon me.
But seemingly i have failed; i blamed myself repeatedly as the silent tears stream down my cheeks and burn my skin.
The pain seeped in more profoundly now, and i can feel it puncturing the very last of my emotions, tearing it into oblivion. It is something beautiful because i thought i could finally let someone in; yet it is something that's broken because what's left of me is shattered and torn.
As i sit here, i will continue to dwell into another world, the world where no one can harm me and i am my own master of fate - in the world of coelho's books.
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